Learning the finicky skills - even when you don't want to

 

My uncle had said that he appreciated my mom and dad had taken the time to teach me a lot of different life skills.  I agree.  They both taught me a lot.  But, as he said this I was thinking - it was more than just them, and also, it depended on what I was willing to absorb.  It helped being out on a farm out in the middle of frozen Northern Minnesota - having wilderness and very little else to do.  But also, it helped that people instilled patience in me beyond what other kids my age seemed to get.  Sometimes, it was instilled against my will and with resentment, but I learned the task.

The thing I am thinking specifically about this morning is not washing the dishes, or hanging the laundry, or weeding the garden or pulling in wood and pine boughs from the forest.. although I did all of those things.  The thing I am thinking about is learning to roll a ball of yarn.

My step-grandmother was I have to admit a hard woman to deal with.  She didn't like cats in the house, and would rather have had children seen and not heard.  I remember crying my eyes out when she chased my pregnant cat with a broom - and then later she had a talk with my stepfather and mother and they worked it out.  I was an emotional child, as well, a deep thinker and a philosophizer.  But this also made me a bit stubborn, overwrought at times and at other times, a 'slowpoke' because I was thinking about other things than peeling potatoes or cutting grass or getting my 'tail' moving to go somewhere.

But I definitely saw the magic of learning to crochet, and I really wanted to do more than just 'play' with yarn.  And my step-grandmother could crochet.  I was nine or ten at the time.  But she had a staunch rule about teaching me.  I had to learn to 'properly' roll a ball of yarn.  Not just roll it up, but do it correctly so it didn't fall apart as it was unrolled.  And - if there were tangles in it, I had to learn to undo them bit by bit so the yarn did not have to be cut.  I spent SO long learning this.  She tore things apart and told me to do it again.  All before I was allowed to touch a hook.  All before she would even teach me to finger-chain the yarn.  The ball rolling lesson had to be mastered.

I was angry.  I pouted some.  I'm sure I despaired.   I admit it - I even hated her a little for it during those hours.  But I was determined, and I even begged my father, stepfather and mother for more yarn to learn this on outside of her watchful eyes.  And eventually, I learned.  But it took persistence and understanding that there were reasons for doing it that way and what happened when it was not up to 'par'.

And then came the long days of learning to finger-chain, and one lesson on how to chain the next row with the hook.  Then - she gave me a book and said 'that's it.. you have to figure it out yourself'.  

I'm still not that great of a crocheter!  I learned to knit mostly by myself after some ladies at Michaels tried to teach me back in 2000.  I found out one of the biggest reasons that was blocking me - when it comes to knitting (and probably crocheting if I tried it) I am left-handed.  Once I figured that out (after much frustration overnights in my college dorm room) it was a breeze.  

I'm not a terribly fancy knitter, or crocheter.  I'm persistent and I appreciate every gain made and useful item created.  I can make blankets, scarves, hats, mittens, socks, sweaters and baskets. But if I had given up and said it was too hard - if I had let that anger and despair keep me from taking the lessons that were there to give (even though unexplained).. I would not have gotten the appreciation I now have.

So yes, thank you Grandma Mary for that - I can roll a ball of yarn and do it in a few minutes flat.  I can take the time to work out the tangles, because it is important and the skill itself is invaluable.

Even though you have been gone for many years, thank you for taking the time to teach me even when I really had no idea what you were trying to show until much later.