More on the Rule of Effort and perhaps the Cosmic Keyhole

 I'm still hypothesizing what I mean by theRule of Effort.  It is not a cut and dry equation.  There are so many things that cascade and swirl around to create this turmoil and dilemma t hat comes up in my head often.


Do I put forth the effort for this - and for myself, or for others, or for both?

Saw a quote today that said 'growth is caring more about your own progress than what others think of it/you'... and yes, with my PTSD I have trouble with this.  It is a bad scar taht if I pick at it, it will come open and be hard to work through all of the rest of what is in front of me every day.

Then I think again of what it means in context of the Rule of Effort.

My head moves at a hundred miles per hour compared to my fingers, my body .. and so often, my body does not even want to cooperate, or there is no time in the 'real world' schedule to bring what I am thinking of to life.  Other times, the rule of effort comes in and I am giving the project some time, but it is progressing very slowly, or I worry the results are not good enough, or a dozen other reasons to stop and not go forward on something that might be really great - or might be just a time sink that no one else in the world cares about or ever will.  But, I'm here, in this plane of existence, and I am interested in it... so that should be enough, right?

And that brings back the hundred-miles-per hour thinking, that pinballs all over every other idea sitting out there unexplored, unconnected and unfinished... I feel like I am looking through a very tiny crack at the huge Universe and that the message is there - if I just stand far back enough and look, really look, and don't get distracted by the multitudes of thoughts and ideas and things and the million points in time.  But Time is there, and when it comes right down to it, the Rule of Effort means that those deep-star thoughts can't produce what is necessary to survive and keep 'all the balls in the air' every day.  So they get put back on the shelf after what feels like only a millisecond of the required observation needed to see the Big Picture.

Laundry, shopping, work, knitting, changing water for the chickens, looking for a replacement vehicle, getting my eye fixed... that is all more important than trying to put the Universe together.  If you didn't laugh at that, you hve no idea.  I feel like I really, have no idea... but it has me and it doesn't let go, it just allows me to run around the block a few times once in a while in the pursuit.

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